On Twitter, you often come across "high-level" discussions like this:
A: “ABC is XYZ.”
B: “You’re completely wrong. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.”
Here’s a question:
What are the chances that the person being called “stupid” will actually change their opinion?
The one calling them stupid might think the chances are high—but in reality, they’re close to zero.
After all, if you go out of your way to argue with someone, it means you want them to reconsider their opinion, right?
If so, this kind of verbal attack is a terrible strategy.
Okay, okay, that’s an extreme example. So let’s tone it down a bit.
Let’s say someone posts, “ABC is XYZ.”
You calmly reply: “Actually, I think you’re wrong. Here are 100 reasons why. First... then second... and on to number 100…”
Even if your facts are solid and your logic airtight, chances are—they still won’t change their mind.
Why?
Because it’s not just about logic. It’s about pride—or as we say in Japanese, "men-tsu" (面子).
Especially online, protecting one’s pride often matters more than pursuing truth.
For example, many Twitter users seem to believe that apologizing equals death.
Of course, apologizing is better than dying—but for some, saying “I’m sorry” even once means they’ll lose all dignity and never be taken seriously again.
That’s not true, of course, but a surprising number of people believe it.
So what happens if you hit them with a hard truth?
Naturally, they’ll deny it. And worse—they might double down and get even more stubborn.
= =
So what can we do?
There are ways.
The key is: protect their pride.
That means—don’t outright reject them.
But how can you point out someone is wrong without denying them?
Let’s take an example. Suppose someone says,
“Japan’s COVID-19 response was far worse than other countries.”
Now, even if you show data proving Japan had fewer deaths per capita, they still won’t change their opinion.
So here’s what I do:
1. “You’re right—but only under certain conditions.”
The trick is not to say they’re wrong.
Acknowledge they might be right—if certain conditions are true. That way, you preserve their pride while encouraging them to reflect.
“Yes, if Japan’s death rate were higher than the U.S. or UK, your point would be valid.”
2. “You’re wrong—but it’s understandable.”
This one’s a bit tougher, but still respectful.
You gently explain that they’re mistaken, but suggest it’s because they didn’t have access to the right information.
“Your opinion isn’t correct, but the information is hard to find—so you did your best. Don’t worry about it!”
By offering them an escape route, you reduce the risk of triggering their defensiveness.
= =
A Real-Life Example
I once saw a conversation on Yahoo! BBS (a place where deeply intellectual arguments like “Idiot! Idiot! Idiot!” often happen).
It was about COVID-19. One user wrote:
“We don’t even know the total number of COVID-19 tests in Japan. That makes the infection numbers meaningless. The government should release the total testing data!”
A valid point—under certain conditions.
Another user replied:
“Actually, the government has released that data. The media just doesn’t report it much, so it’s understandable you didn’t know.”
The first user accepted the information and shifted their blame toward the media.
Incredible!
On the internet!
Someone actually changed their opinion!
Conclusion
If you want to change someone’s mind, think about their pride first.
Give them a way out. A graceful exit. A parachute.
Start there—and maybe, just maybe, you’ll succeed.
